THE CHIEF OF POLICE LEAPS TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND, IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER, AND GIVES POLICY TO GOD.
THE ASSISTANT CHIEF LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND, IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A SWITCH ENGINE, AND IS JUST AS FAST AS A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER IF IT IS CALM, AND TALKS TO GOD.
THE CAPTAIN LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A RUNNING START, AND FAVORABLE WIND CONDITIONS. HE IS ALMOST AS POWERFUL AS A SWITCH ENGINE AND FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER OF AN INDOOR POOL, AND TALKS TO GOD IF SPECIAL REQUEST IS APPROVED.
THE LIEUTENANT BARELY CLEARS SHORT BUILDINGS, LOSES TUGS OF WAR WITH LOCOMOTIVE, CAN FIRE A SPEEDING BULLET, SWIMS WELL, AND IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.
THE SERGEANT MAKES HIGH MARKS WHEN TRYING TO LEAP BUILDINGS, IS RUN OVER BY LOCOMOTIVES, AND SOMETIMES HANDLES A GUN WITHOUT INFLICTING SELF INJURY, CAN DOG PADDLE, AND TALKS T0 HIMSELF.
A DETECTIVE RUNS INTO BUILDINGS, RECOGNIZES LOCOMOTIVES TWO OUT OF THREE TIMES, IS ISSUED AMMUNITION, CAN STAY AFLOAT IF PROPERLY INSTRUCTED AND TALKS TO WATER.
THE PATROLMAN FALLS OVER DOOR SILLS WHEN TRYING TO ENTER BUILDINGS, SAYS: "LOOK AT THE CHOO-CHOO," WETS HIMSELF WITH A WATER PISTOL, AND MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.
THE DISPATCHER LIFTS BUILDINGS AND WALK'S UNDER THEM, KICKS LOCOMOTIVES OFF THE TRACKS, CATCHES SPEEDING BULLETS IN HER TEETH AND CHEWS THEM, AND FREEZES WATER WITH A SINGLE GLANCE. THE DISPATCHER IS GOD!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
The Dispatch Funnies
Believe me these things really happened.
Caller:"Um yeah... This guy is driving really erotically"
Caller:"It's either a raccoon or a mountain lion"
Dispatcher: Can I have your date of birth? --- Caller: What you mean my birthday?
Dispatcher: "Is he wearing it or driving it?" in reference to a male in a black blazer
Dispatcher: "I don't have anyone there, because I don't know where "there" is yet?"
Dispatcher : "This is how it works, you call 9-1-1, you give us an address, and then we can send you help, so are you gonna give me an address"
Caller: "I need the fire department, but I don't want them to park a firetruck in front of my house." Dispatcher: "That's how firemen get around ma'am"
Caller: "Can you tell me if it will be a green burn day tomorrow?" Dispatcher: "We can't predict the future, you'll have to call back tomorrow"
Caller: "I didn't dial 9-1-1, I dialed SOS" Dispatcher: "SOS stands for Save Our Souls, and that's what we do"
In regards to a structure fire that the fire department had been working on for nearly an hour...
Officer: "Do you have a report of a structure fire at .... I'm in the area and can see smoke and flames "
Dispatcher: "10-4, Can you see the trucks with the red and white flashing lights ... they're working on putting the fire out"
Caller:"Um yeah... This guy is driving really erotically"
Caller:"It's either a raccoon or a mountain lion"
Dispatcher: Can I have your date of birth? --- Caller: What you mean my birthday?
Dispatcher: "Is he wearing it or driving it?" in reference to a male in a black blazer
Dispatcher: "I don't have anyone there, because I don't know where "there" is yet?"
Dispatcher : "This is how it works, you call 9-1-1, you give us an address, and then we can send you help, so are you gonna give me an address"
Caller: "I need the fire department, but I don't want them to park a firetruck in front of my house." Dispatcher: "That's how firemen get around ma'am"
Caller: "Can you tell me if it will be a green burn day tomorrow?" Dispatcher: "We can't predict the future, you'll have to call back tomorrow"
Caller: "I didn't dial 9-1-1, I dialed SOS" Dispatcher: "SOS stands for Save Our Souls, and that's what we do"
In regards to a structure fire that the fire department had been working on for nearly an hour...
Officer: "Do you have a report of a structure fire at .... I'm in the area and can see smoke and flames "
Dispatcher: "10-4, Can you see the trucks with the red and white flashing lights ... they're working on putting the fire out"
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Puppy Savior
Think I can train Jasper to do this?
PHOENIX - "Man's best friend" doesn't go far enough for Buddy — a German shepherd who remembered his training and saved his owner's life by calling 911 when the man had a seizure.
And it's not the first time Buddy has been there for owner Joe Stalnaker, a police officer said Sunday.
On a recording of the 911 call Wednesday, Buddy is heard whimpering and barking after the dispatcher answers and repeatedly asks if the caller needs help.
"Hello, this is 911. Hello ... Can you hear me? Is there somebody there you can give the phone to," says the dispatcher, Chris Trott.
Police were sent to Stalnaker's home, and after about three minutes Buddy is heard barking loudly when the officers arrived.
Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said Stalnaker spent two days in a hospital and recovered from the seizure.
"It's pretty incredible," Clark said. "Even the veteran dispatchers — they haven't heard of anything like this."
Clark said police are dispatched whenever 911 is called, but that Stalnaker's address was flagged in Scottsdale's system with a notification that a trained assistance dog could call 911 when the owner was incapacitated.
Clark said Stalnaker adopted Buddy at the age of 8 weeks from Michigan-based Paws with a Cause, which trains assistance dogs, and trained him to get the phone if he began to have seizure symptoms. Buddy, now 18 months old, is able press programmed buttons until a 911 operator is on the line, Clark said.
Clark said Buddy has made two other 911 calls when Stalnaker was having seizures.
He said Stalnaker's seizures are the result of a head injury he suffered about 10 years ago during a military training exercise.
Stalnaker was not listed in the phone book, and he did not immediately respond to a request through police for an interview.
PHOENIX - "Man's best friend" doesn't go far enough for Buddy — a German shepherd who remembered his training and saved his owner's life by calling 911 when the man had a seizure.
And it's not the first time Buddy has been there for owner Joe Stalnaker, a police officer said Sunday.
On a recording of the 911 call Wednesday, Buddy is heard whimpering and barking after the dispatcher answers and repeatedly asks if the caller needs help.
"Hello, this is 911. Hello ... Can you hear me? Is there somebody there you can give the phone to," says the dispatcher, Chris Trott.
Police were sent to Stalnaker's home, and after about three minutes Buddy is heard barking loudly when the officers arrived.
Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said Stalnaker spent two days in a hospital and recovered from the seizure.
"It's pretty incredible," Clark said. "Even the veteran dispatchers — they haven't heard of anything like this."
Clark said police are dispatched whenever 911 is called, but that Stalnaker's address was flagged in Scottsdale's system with a notification that a trained assistance dog could call 911 when the owner was incapacitated.
Clark said Stalnaker adopted Buddy at the age of 8 weeks from Michigan-based Paws with a Cause, which trains assistance dogs, and trained him to get the phone if he began to have seizure symptoms. Buddy, now 18 months old, is able press programmed buttons until a 911 operator is on the line, Clark said.
Clark said Buddy has made two other 911 calls when Stalnaker was having seizures.
He said Stalnaker's seizures are the result of a head injury he suffered about 10 years ago during a military training exercise.
Stalnaker was not listed in the phone book, and he did not immediately respond to a request through police for an interview.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The Seventh Aniversary
Today is the Seventh Anniversary to the terrorist attacks that occured September 11th, 2001. To anyone directly affected thank you for your sacrifice. For those of us indirectly affected it is our duty not to forget what happened that day, and to always remember those that lost their lives, especially the lives of those that ran to help .
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Life of an Officer
Yesterday the Monument for Fallen Officers in Utah was unveiled at the Utah State Capital.
To all those lost you're missed. Thank you for your sacrifice.
For all those that do not understand the sacrifice of all officer's, those lost and those still working tirelessly for our safety, here is an idea in of the day in the life of an Officer.
An Officers Life......
You wonder why he pulled you over and gave you a ticket for speeding"
He just worked an accident where people died because they were going too fast
You wonder why that cop was so "mean"
He just got done working a case where a drunk driver killed a child.
You work 8 hours
He works for up to 18 hours (or longer).
You drink hot coffee to stay awake
The cold rain in the middle of the night keeps him awake.
You complain of a "headache" and call in sick
He goes into work still hurt and sore from the guy he had to fight the night before.
You drink your coffee on your way to the mall
He spills his as he runs code to a traffice accident with kids trapped inside.
You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket before you leave the house
He makes sure his guns are clean and fully loaded and his vest is tight.
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you
He watches his buddy get shot at, and wounded in front of him.
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls
He walks down the highway looking for body parts from a traffic crash.
You complain about how hot it is
He wears fiftly pounds of gear and a bullet proof vest in the middle of July and still runs around chasing crack heads.
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong
He runs out before he gets his food to respond to an armed robbery.
You get out of bed in the morning and take your time getting ready
he gets called out of bed at 2 am afther working 12 hours and has to be into work ASAP for a fatal accident .
You go to the mall and get your hair done
He holds the hair of some college girl while she's puking in the back of his patrol car.
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over
His shift "ended" 4 hours ago and there's no end in sight.
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight
He can't make any plans because on his days off he still gets called back into work.
You yell and scream at the squad car that just went past you because they slowed you down
He's in the driver seat of the squad car, going to cut somebody out of their car only to find out they're deand when he gets there.
You roll your eyes when a baby cries in public
he picks up a dead child in his arms and prays that it would cry.
You criticize your police department and say they're never there quick enough
He blasts the siren while the person in front of him refuses to move while talking on their cell phone and doing their makeup.
You hear the jokes about fallen officers and say they should have known better
He is a hero and runs into situations when everyone else is running away in order to make sure no one else gets hurt and loses his life doing it.
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't
He would take a bullet for his buddy, or even you, without question.
You sit there and judge him, saying that it's a waste of money to have them around.
Yet as soon as you need help he is there.
Also a shout out to the men and women of the Fire Departments, Corrections, EMS and Dispatchers as well, without all these divisions, public safety wouldn't be available!!!!
And for anyone intersted in the Fallen Officer Monument or how you can donate to their cause visit https://www.utahsfallen.org/
To all those lost you're missed. Thank you for your sacrifice.
For all those that do not understand the sacrifice of all officer's, those lost and those still working tirelessly for our safety, here is an idea in of the day in the life of an Officer.
An Officers Life......
You wonder why he pulled you over and gave you a ticket for speeding"
He just worked an accident where people died because they were going too fast
You wonder why that cop was so "mean"
He just got done working a case where a drunk driver killed a child.
You work 8 hours
He works for up to 18 hours (or longer).
You drink hot coffee to stay awake
The cold rain in the middle of the night keeps him awake.
You complain of a "headache" and call in sick
He goes into work still hurt and sore from the guy he had to fight the night before.
You drink your coffee on your way to the mall
He spills his as he runs code to a traffice accident with kids trapped inside.
You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket before you leave the house
He makes sure his guns are clean and fully loaded and his vest is tight.
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you
He watches his buddy get shot at, and wounded in front of him.
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls
He walks down the highway looking for body parts from a traffic crash.
You complain about how hot it is
He wears fiftly pounds of gear and a bullet proof vest in the middle of July and still runs around chasing crack heads.
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong
He runs out before he gets his food to respond to an armed robbery.
You get out of bed in the morning and take your time getting ready
he gets called out of bed at 2 am afther working 12 hours and has to be into work ASAP for a fatal accident .
You go to the mall and get your hair done
He holds the hair of some college girl while she's puking in the back of his patrol car.
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over
His shift "ended" 4 hours ago and there's no end in sight.
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight
He can't make any plans because on his days off he still gets called back into work.
You yell and scream at the squad car that just went past you because they slowed you down
He's in the driver seat of the squad car, going to cut somebody out of their car only to find out they're deand when he gets there.
You roll your eyes when a baby cries in public
he picks up a dead child in his arms and prays that it would cry.
You criticize your police department and say they're never there quick enough
He blasts the siren while the person in front of him refuses to move while talking on their cell phone and doing their makeup.
You hear the jokes about fallen officers and say they should have known better
He is a hero and runs into situations when everyone else is running away in order to make sure no one else gets hurt and loses his life doing it.
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't
He would take a bullet for his buddy, or even you, without question.
You sit there and judge him, saying that it's a waste of money to have them around.
Yet as soon as you need help he is there.
Also a shout out to the men and women of the Fire Departments, Corrections, EMS and Dispatchers as well, without all these divisions, public safety wouldn't be available!!!!
And for anyone intersted in the Fallen Officer Monument or how you can donate to their cause visit https://www.utahsfallen.org/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)